- Albert Tiong
Mindfulness involves paying attention with a focused mind, in the present moment, without judgement. But what does it really mean?
Our mind is a judging machine. When we experience something, usually our mind automatically thinks it’s good, or bad. If the experience is pleasant, our mind hangs on to that feeling, and we want more of it. If the experience is unpleasant, we will try to hide, resist, and escape. And all other feelings are judged as “neutral”, so we tend to forget it.
There’s nothing wrong with these judgments. It’s the nature of the mind to judge. Sometimes, these judgments are helpful. They can help us to understand why we like to do certain things, and why something makes us upset.
The problem starts when we allow our mind to judge automatically too often and too much. We must always have a balance in everything. Sometimes too much of a good thing is not that good also.
Look around our society today and we are surrounded by people who judge too much. When you ask parents what they want their children to be in the future, and they will normally say they want their children to be in “good jobs”. By saying “good jobs” is already an example of judgement. What makes a “good” job good? And do we mean other jobs are bad?
Judgement affects our emotion and behavior. For example, seeing someone dressed with nice clothes may make you feel good, fill your mind with envy, which leads to you going shopping immediately and spend money. The danger is that some people do not think it is a problem, or when it is a problem, they don’t know how to stop themselves anymore. When they cannot get what they want, they become stressed and depressed.
With regular mindfulness practices, you begin to be aware of the experiences without judging whether they are good or bad. If other thoughts or feelings come to your mind, you do not allow them to distract you. For example: you are at work and focussing on your job, but two people are talking to each other behind you. The main difference between a “judging” and non-judging” mind:
*Judging mind: They are noisy, annoying, they are disturbing me!
*Non-judging mind: I hear conversations behind me.
Once you are able to focus without judgement, you will be able to control your emotion.
******************************